Ghosts
by SlayersGrl
Summary: A routine mission reminds Major Sheppard of someone he lost.


Title: Ghosts  
Author: SlayersGrl  
Summary: A routine mission reminds Major Sheppard of someone he lost.  
Disclaimer: Not mine, as you all know… They just keep insisting I write these stories! Honest!

Author's note: I was all set to go to sleep when this pops into my head… I just had to get up and write it. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Major John Sheppard stepped out of the open wormhole and onto the smooth earthen surface of yet another alien planet. He sighed in frustration. Why did all of these planets have to look like Earth? It made the whole planet-hopping experience very surreal. It was almost like simply disembarking off a plane and simply being in another country. And each and every one of them reminded him of her. And how much she would have loved all of this.

"Major?" Teyla interrupted his melancholy thoughts. "Shall we head to the ruins?"

He nodded his head and led the way. His previous thoughts were forgotten for the time being as he scanned the area for any potential threats to himself and his team. Although each planet may appear to be Earth, the life forms they tended to encounter left no doubt that they were very far away from home.

The next several hours were spent examining the ruins for any potential energy sources. They were discouraged at finding none, but at least there were some promising markings on a few of the walls. The writing appeared to be that of the Ancients, so the team agreed that it merited further investigation.

The long, dull day eventually came to a close and everyone thankfully set up camp for the evening. After a warm MRE and some light conversation, the team divided up watch duty and three of them went to bed, leaving Lieutenant Ford with first watch.

As soon as he was asleep, John immediately began to dream about her. He remembered the first time they met. She always had a way of looking at him and actually looking into him. He always had the feeling that she knew exactly what he was thinking before even he was aware of it. And her smile… He could never forget her smile. And then it all vanished in a puff of smoke, the happy, laughing women replaced by a mere shell and then swallowed up in darkness.

John awoke with a start, sweat covering his brow. It had been a long time since he had dreamed about her. He had hoped the mission would be enough to distract him, but he realized that he couldn't escape the ghosts from his past. Especially not on today of all days.

He quickly rose and prepared for the monotonous day ahead of him. McKay had insisted on studying the ruins again, hoping to translate some more of the text. If they were lucky, they might find some clues as to the location of some ZPMs or perhaps some way to fight against the Wraith. Either way, he knew it was going to be a long day.

Twelve hours later, the team found themselves seated in front of a blazing fire finishing off their evening meal. The conversation had lulled and everyone seemed lost in his or her own thoughts.

"It really is beautiful here you know," Ford said, breaking the lingering silence. "I wish my grandparents were here to enjoy this."

"It is nice and peaceful here," Teyla agreed. "I only wish it would stay that way."

"Hey McKay, if you could share this with anyone, who would it be?" Ford asked. He always wondered if the scientist had any family waiting for him back home.

"Colonel Carter, of course," he replied.

"Of course," Ford and Sheppard echoed with a grin. Everyone knew of McKay's infatuation with the leader of SG-1.

"What about you sir," Aiden said, turning to John. "Who do you wish was here?"

John looked down at his cup of coffee, all traces of his smile now gone. It was a moment before he responded and when he did his team almost missed the response. "Amy…"

"Who is Amy?" Teyla asked gently.

"My wife."

Rodney was shocked by that piece of information. "I didn't realize you were married."

"Well, I was… She died… six years ago today actually. Breast cancer."

"I'm sorry." Rodney couldn't think of anything else to say.

"She would have loved it here. Amy always enjoyed being outside, you know, being one with nature. She always liked to take walks through the woods and lay out at night under the stars." He wasn't sure why he was telling them all of this. He hadn't spoken about his late wife in years. The memory of her death was still too raw.

"The year before she died, we spent as much time as we could traveling all over the world. We visited Paris, London, Rome, Tokyo… In fact, the only continent she never set foot on was Antarctica." He laughed at that. "I guess that's why I liked being stationed there. Everything in sight didn't instantly remind me of how much I missed her."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman," Teyla said, placing an encouraging hand on John's arm. "I would have liked to have met her."

He smiled at that statement. "Never in her wildest dreams would Amy have imagined meeting someone from another planet."

Rodney then asked, "How come you never talk about her?"

John thought about the question for a moment. "I guess because I still miss her so much. When I talk about her, then I realize she's really gone. I realize that I'm missing a piece of myself that can never be replaced."

"But you can't forget all the good times you had together," Ford countered. "By telling others about how wonderful a person she was, you're honoring her memory."

"You're right… I guess I was being rather selfish. I suppose I had hoped that by being in another galaxy that I could start over… Escape my ghosts… But I don't want to escape. I don't want to forget her or all the wonderful moments we shared."

"So tell us more about her. How did you first meet?" Rodney asked.

He smiled at the memory and proceeded to tell the unusual tale of his first encounter with the brunette from Missouri. And as he spoke, he thought he could feel her warm embrace as she wrapped his arms around him. He may have his ghosts, but they were his to share. And he would survive the painful memories if it meant reliving the good ones.


End file.
